• Four Days Until Your Whisky Disappears

    In four days, it becomes illegal to import Canadian whisky into the United States. Also banned: Canadian beer, wine, vodka, cider, motorcycles, and whey protein. Trump signed the executive orders as retaliation for Canada’s retaliatory tariffs, which were retaliation for his original tariffs, which were retaliation for Canada having the nerve to exist next door. The circle of punishment lands, as it always does, on the person holding the receipt.

    This is what a trade war looks like when one side runs out of ideas. You can’t negotiate your way to a win, so you take the other country’s beer off the shelf and call it strength. Meanwhile, 76 percent of Canadians back Carney for telling Trump to pound sand. Poilievre spent the week insisting Canada needs to be “independent” while nodding along with the guy writing the ban list. The man polls at 22 percent and somehow that number still feels generous.

    1 minute. Shorter than the average Coldplay intro. Mercifully.

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