Two years ago today, Coldplay released Moon Music. It still sucks.
The album was physically pressed on recycled plastic, which turned out to be the most honest creative decision on the entire project. Chris Martin spent the promo tour talking about sustainability while delivering ten songs so disposable they belong in the bin the plastic came from. “We Pray” featured four guest vocalists and still managed to sound like an airport departures lounge. The lead single was spelled as one long word because apparently spaces are too edgy for a band that hasn’t taken a risk since 2008.
Caribou’s album Honey dropped on the exact same day. Dan Snaith, one guy in a studio, made a record of actual dancefloor music with warmth and a real pulse. Moon Music sold 120,000 copies in its first week and nobody remembers buying it. The Metacritic score landed at 58, and three of those thirteen reviewers were being polite.
Here’s what you should listen to instead, five tracks from 2024 that were actually worth the bandwidth:
- Jamie xx feat. Honey Dijon - Baddy On The Floor (YouTube): House music with 90s piano keys and enough groove to evacuate a building. Off the In Waves album, which also dropped in 2024 and was better than Moon Music in every measurable way.
- Chase & Status ft. Stormzy - BACKBONE (YouTube): DnB that went straight to number one in the UK. Stormzy sounds like he’s trying to break the speakers and nearly succeeds.
- Bicep - Water ft. Clara La San (YouTube): Belfast’s finest doing what they do. The vocal and the synth hit at the same time and your body just decides for you.
- Caribou - Honey (YouTube): Released the same day as Moon Music. One of them is real dancefloor music. Guess which one.
- Disclosure - She’s Gone, Dance On (YouTube): Built on a Morricone sample and went viral when Taylor Swift got caught dancing to it at Coachella. Summer in a track.