HR ordered the confetti before they ordered the severance.
He’s carrying the box. Plant, notebooks, the whole personal-effects goodbye kit. She’s behind him in the doorway of the building he just left, blasting a confetti cannon at his back with genuine enthusiasm. His face says he found out this morning. Her face says she booked the party popper on Tuesday. Every company that cuts people runs the same playbook: a press release about “difficult decisions,” a Slack message that begins “as many of you know,” and apparently, somewhere on the ninth floor, a person with a drawer full of confetti cannons waiting for the next restructuring. She is that person. She loves this part.